Restless Clouds

I’m a restless person. In 2018, I decided to apply for a Fulbright mostly to give myself something different to work on during summer break. (I skip new year’s resolutions but give myself summer resolutions so as to hold down the rising mercury of restlessness.) Another reason was the chance, if I received the award, to try something new. I’ve been at the same job since mid-2011, a record for me, and felt I needed a change – preferably, a change that didn’t jeopardize my health insurance and retirement benefits.

The phrase “restless clouds” that Palestinian poet Mahmoud Darwish used in his poem-book State of Siege has many more layers of meaning than I can claim. (See a stanza on my “About” page.) Today I’m thinking about the literal lack of rest. Yesterday, after 26 hours of no sleep, I felt unmoored as a cloud as I sat, seven time zones away from my pillow, in my briefing at the Palestinian Affairs Unit of the U.S. Embassy. We discussed, as far as I remember, my upcoming placement at An-Najah University, getting around in the West Bank, the mail system (give this paper to X who will take it to Ramallah and give it to Y who will take it to Z in Jerusalem), good hikes around Nablus, not getting kidnapped, where to buy a sim card that will work in the West Bank, the upcoming elections (Israeli, Palestinian student political organizations, and Palestinian Authority), and, as is necessary in any discussion of Nablus, the two kinds of kanafeh.

I did finally get to rest and even to sleep. Today I ate at a familiar cafe, met a friend, and went to a concert of music by Haydn, Mozart, and Saint-Saëns. Tomorrow I’ll be restless again and ready to go to Nablus, my new home.